SEASON RECAP

Written by Stefanie and Dennis

‘Fart’ of Dreams Leads Men’s Softball Team to Greatness

The Cake Farts united in the summer of ’09 with one goal in sight: absolute victory. They started the summer session strong with a 7-5 win over the Stimulus Packages. However, hopes of an undefeated session were crushed early as the Cake Farts’ bats fell silent and they lost their second game to Ron Mexico, 5-2. But they did not let this single game break their determination to win; the Cake Farts rallied to win the next six games of the session. Despite ending the session 7-1, Ron Mexico finished the season at an undefeated 8-0, leaving the hunger for supreme softball domination burning in the deepest recesses of the Cake Farts’ souls. The Cake Farts knew the only way to resolve this loss was to come back for a second round in the fall softball session and accomplish their goals.

With determination fueling their bats, the Cake Farts entered the fall session with a rumble; crushing the Mollicas 18-9. The storm of farts continued as the Cake Farts slaughtered the Cincinnati Bowties 19-9 in game two. Although confident in their ability to win, the Cake Farts knew game three against Gaslight Properties would not be an easy game to win, as Gaslight Properties came into the game with two impressive victories under their belts. However, the Cake Farts kept their focus to win the game 9-7. An undefeated session was well on its way.

The Cake Farts cruised past winless Ballz Deep in game four 14-1, setting up what would turn out to be their toughest test to date of the season. On September 28, the Cake Farts clashed with Vandlay Industries, who were primed to pull off the upset and shock the CRC world. With the Cake Farts up 14-13 in the 7th inning, Vandlay Industries had the bases loaded with one out. With the tying and go ahead runs in scoring position, Craig Deno made a nice play on a ground ball to third base, throwing to the plate and getting the lead runner before he could score. The next batter would hit into a routine out and the Cake Farts’ undefeated season was preserved for one more game.

An off the field injury to catcher Bob Whelan temporarily derailed the Cake Farts during the ensuing off week, but the Cake Farts were able to rally around their fallen comrade and cruise to easy victories in games six and seven. The Cake Farts won these two games at a combined score of 37-6. They were getting offensive production out of everyone in the lineup, and the defense was nearly flawless. There was now only one game standing between the Cake Farts and their final goal.

Although the Cake Farts were assured to win this last game, they now did not only want to be undefeated: they wanted to be the ultimate men’s softball champions. To be the champs, you have to beat the champs, and the only other undefeated team, perennial CRC powerhouse Team Punishment, was not on the Cake Farts schedule. The Cake Farts wanted the opportunity to settle their true greatness in the world of softball, so they challenged Punishment Softball to a winner take all game to determine the Fall League Champion. CRC commissioner Jamie Lambert arranged the two teams to meet in what would become an instant classic at Schmidt Fields.

The game began on a crisp October night. Fans of both teams gathered in tense anticipation to watch the ultimate softball battle that was about to commence. The atmosphere was electric as the teams took the field. The stakes were high and no one was leaving until only one team remained as undefeated. The 1st inning was scoreless on both sides, but the Cake Farts would be the first to put 2 runs on the board. The 3rd inning, however, brought disaster to the Cake Farts as a bad call at first base by the umpire would lead to six runs scored by Team Punishment. Team Punishment would later add to their lead with two more unanswered runs, pushing the score to 8-2. John Elder hit a two run triple in the 5th inning to cut the lead to 8-4, and the momentum slightly shifted back to the Cake Farts. However, in the bottom of the sixth inning Team Punishment added one more insurance run to push the score to 9-4. The tension was building, fans becoming restless, but the Cake Farts knew what they had to do when they came up in the 7th inning.

They had come too far, worked too hard to end the game like this.

The first batter was quickly retired, but the Cake Farts could sense that something was still in the air. This was a team of destiny, and they were not to be denied. The next batter, in true Cake Farts fashion, selflessly took a walk, setting up the impossible. After a dribbler found daylight between the shortstop and third baseman, aggressive base running by the lead runner pushed a run across the plate for the Cake Farts. The next batter lined out, but an errant throw to first trying to double up the runner foreshadowed the unpredictable way the rest of the inning would unfold. After a few clutch hits and errors in the field, Adam Wilson came to the plate with the bases loaded and the Cake Farts trailing 9-8. He got a pitch he liked and smoked a line drive to the gap in left field, clearing the bases with a triple and putting the Cake Farts ahead 11-9. The next batter was retired and the top of the seventh was finally concluded, but the table had already been set for the Cake Farts dream season to come full circle. They were three outs away from capturing the title, and as the defense took the field, the Cake Farts battle cry could be heard resonating through Schmidt fields on that cool fall evening.

Let’s get this done.

Team Punishment was able to get two base runners on in the bottom of the seventh, but a lazy fly ball to left field with two outs sealed their fate. As the last out was called, the field fell silent; both teams in disbelief that the battle was finished. The game was over and the Cake Farts had won 11-9. The dream of complete softball domination had been accomplished and the Cake Farts made a mark in the history of softball greatness. The story of the Cardiac Farts would be forever etched in the illustrious history of CRC softball.